Hereon my psychobabble will be published in my blogger site: Liza’s Hut. As Kins would put it, it’s more earth-friendly. All my forays in web publishing will all be in blogger. It is easier, this way.

March 10
5:56 pm

What am I doing? Rather, what am I not doing? Because, I’m doing nothing really. At least nothing productive, in the sense that’s society-sanctioned. Because, really, I’m doing stuff, not just the stuff that I should be doing 24/7. Like sleep? Well, not entirely. I wake up, too. Read. Watch videos. TV. Play my guitar. Or try to. Write some. Sketch. Draw. Stare at a blank canvass which remains blank for more than a year now. Think. Meander. Sing. Surf the Net. Email. Go out with friends. Sometimes. Play badminton. A few times. Cook.  Attend to stuff. Walk. Discover stuff. Places. Gripe. Bum. For cash. Food. Stuff. Sensible stuff. Sure. There’s no money in it. For the most part, I’m mostly boring myself to death. Which is just around the corner. Probably why I’m getting my ass out there. Somewhere. Someday.

Okay. ‘Nuff of the stoner-talk.

All those time, did read these:
1. Possession
2. Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince
3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
4. Daddy-Long-Legs
5. Schott’s Original Miscellany
6. Spanish for Xenophobes
7. Tesseract
8. Paper Back Original
9. Everything is Illuminated
10.Love in the Time of Cholera

And watched these:
1. Juno
2. Nanny Diaries
3. Jane Austen Club
4. Charlie Wilson’s War
5. No Country for Old Men
6. Martian Child
7. Charlie Bartlett
8. In the Valley of Elah
9. Dedication
10.Rocket Science
11.Lust, Caution
12.Lambs for Lions
13.Eastern Promises
14.How to Make an American Quilt
15.Reality Bites
16.and 20 or so Korean Movies that I’m not about to enumerate…

Enjoyed listening to these, in the past few days, too:
1. Astair by Matt Costa
2. Songs We Sing by Matt Costa
3. Ballad of Miss Kate by Matt Costa
4. Cold December by Matt Costa
5. Sunshine by Matt Costa
6. These Arms by Matt Costa
7. Oh Dear by Matt Costa
8. Somewhere Over The Rainbow by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
9. Tiny Dancer by Elton John
10.America by Simon and Garfunkel
11.Feel Flows by The Beach Boys
12.The First Cut is the Deepest by Sheryl Crow
13.Winding Road by Bonnie Sommerville
14.Psychobabble by Frou Frou
15.I Believe (When I Fall in Love) by Stevie Wonder
16.Five Years by Sugar Hiccup
17.Bubbly by COlbie Caillat
18.COmfort inyour Strangeness by Cynthia Alexander
19.Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
20.Home by Josh Verdes
21.Oh Sweet Nuthing by The Velvet Underground
22.Who Loves the Sun by The Velvet Underground

And I was surely glued at the TV when and if these are on:
1. American Idol
2. Jack and Bobby rerun
3. Gilmore GIrls rerun
4. Oprah
5. Grey’s Anatomy
6. Brothers and Sisters
7. Kid Nation Rerun
8. Marrying a Millionaire
9. Charmed Rerun
10.UrbanZone
11.Senate hearings on NBN-ZTE

And, oh yeah:
1. In the first week of January, I got a 2007 Best PhotoJournalist Award from the Bohol Tri-Media Association for my work with LifestyleBohol
2. In the first three weeks of January, I prepared for my Architecture Board Exams.
3. 3rd weekend of January, I took the exams.
4. 15 days or so later, I got the results. Apparently, I did it. Wohoo!
5. My name and face, along with the other new architects from my school, appeared in the local newspaper. So now everyone knows. And asking for a party. Ugh! (But oath-taking is still in 25th of March, so…)
6. I’m a fresh Architect and I’m penniless. I couldn’t even renew my website. Now it’s gone forever. And the thing is, I think, I’m glad. Huge chips off my shoulder.
7. I’ll be going away soon.

Sherwin’s hand-painted backdrop for the Janssen Pharma Bohol Beach Club event yesterday was phenomenal. Of course, we (Fotomoments) basked in the spotlight, too.

Unfuckingbelievable! I’m watching Daphne O’s Urbanzone and bam – Bryanboy – on TV. Phew! Bryanboy, Planet Earth’s favorite third world fag.

This guy is really something. And he’s a Pinoy, too. Attaboy!

(note: I wrote this about five or so years back. i’m publishing it again this 2008 new year’s day to remind myself of this, my manifesto. )

i wanna make a difference.

I wanna wake up and see the world differently. think that it is not such a bad place to live in. think of hope. think of love. of understanding. of anything but me.

i wanna create an impression. in this world, where i am more or less just a tiny speckle on a tiny white sand in an antique hourglass. i would not just think of myself as a mere dot. a spot. a dirt. i may be small, but i’m part of something enormous.

i want to believe. that there is something to believe in. that this is not just make-believe. that I exist. I.

i wanna live. live as if there are so many reasons to. to continue on breathing. taking up space in the moving world. be a being. be.

i wanna smile. laugh and be merry. as though i will never cry again. learn to enjoy my existence. giggle. cackle ‘til my cheeks burn. be happy once again.

i wanna be great. walk miles others have never dared. fly. soar high. be someone. someone.

I wanna be different.

i no longer wanna be anonymous. i wanna be named. not anymore, that unknown being, down the alley. dark. a silhouette. there should be a face. a name. a tag. to call me someone.

i no longer wanna be called someone who I am not. i wanna be rightfully called. my own. that which I can respond to. because it’s me. Me.

i no longer wanna be trampled upon. i wanna fight. assert my right. insist that I be given what I deserve. not be wrongfully accused. not be accused at all. of anything. never.

i no longer wanna be silent. i wanna speak. shout till I lose my voice. scream. let out all that’s in my head. roar.

i no longer wanna live. i wanna die. and say that I ceased to be so another can live. that I have done what I needed to do. have made my place on earth. savored my last breath thinking that it is but the beginning of a better thing out there. Better there.

There’s no escaping the past. It caught up with me yesterday.

They named it. Angels 98 Class Reunion. Whaat? I thought I really could escape reunions. I really did. Seems I just can’t.

And so there I was. Nostalgic? Never.

Why then was I there? Because Munel was convincing. And maybe because I was curious, too. Maybe.

I was there but I really wasn’t.

No fair, everyone got considerably heavier except for Joanne. (BSAT Batch HS ‘98 Reunion.)

I don’t think I will ever get used to seeing this guy all over the place. I’m upset still that he’s a free man now. Crap! I don’t know why but I’m really flaming mad, which sucks because it’s so unnecessary, a waste of energy, a waste of time.